Buttons

This is another Pacheco story. . .

So we are doing rounds on Friday when Pacheco pulls out his palm pilot and starts playing music. He sticks it back in his pocket and we continue doing rounds listening to Queen, J-Lo, Shakira, and some other poppy stuff that I have no idea what it was.

Then he starts playing this song by The Pussy Cat Dolls and turns to me and says (in Spanish):

P: What does this mean?
Me: What, the lyrics?
P: Yes, the lyrics.
Me: (Listening) I'm not sure I can figure out what they are saying in English. (This is sort of a lie since I have realized that the lyrics are very sexual and I am trying to avoid having to translate sexual lyrics into Spanish to my attending physician).
P: Here

At which point he pulls up a copy of the lyrics and points to the chorus.

P: Just this
Me: Oh.

So this is what I see:

'I'm tellin' you to loosen up my buttons babe (Uh huh)
But you keep frontin' (Uh)
Sayin' what you gon' do to me (Uh huh)
But I ain't seen nothin' (Uh)'

In an attempt to avoid the inevitable discomfort that is going to arise when I try and explain this song's pathetic attempt at trying to create a new slang phrase for foreplay, I pull out my little notebook and start to write a literal translation. I read it to Pacheco in between patients.

Dr. Pacheco looks at me in a funny way and says,

P: But what does it really mean?

At this point I start laughing hysterically. The absurdity of the situation overcame me.

P: Don't be embarrassed.

So I compose myself.

Me: (Thinking I don't even know how to fucking say foreplay in Spanish). It's like before sex, when a man prepares a woman (yes, I did use the word prepare).
P: Like excites?
Me: Yes! Excites. . exactly. .. it's about that. But the girls are saying that their man isn't really doing that. He's just pretending (how do you explain frontin' in Spanish?). You're telling me what you will do to me, but I haven't seen you do anything yet. (at least that's what I think I said)
P: Oh.